When it comes to sex, everything goes behind closed doors — with consent, of course. Regardless of your sexual orientation and the company (or not) of a partner, you can let your creativity and your senses guide you in the service of pleasure. And for many people, one of the most discussed types of sex is anal sex.
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According to “Slice”, where the information comes from, sexual health educator Samantha Bitty dedicated herself to explaining everything you need to know about this type of sex and reinforcing the idea that anal is about pleasure — it’s not a sexual activity that should be shameful, nor is it linked to a specific orientation or group.
What is anal sex?
You may immediately associate the term “anal sex” with penetration. However, it is much more than that. “My perception includes the whole backside, not just the anus“, says Samantha. Therefore, any act that is happening with the back region can be considered anal — whether it’s internal or external stimulation.
Stigmas about anal sex
Anal sex is only for gay men
“There is a false idea and stigma that anal is something strictly for sex between men, which has roots in homophobia“, says the educator, who points out that anyone can enjoy the pleasures of anal sex.
The shame of practicing anal sex
Samantha reports that some people believe that anal sex is a “depraved act”. However, there is nothing wrong with the practice — whether receiving or performing anal stimulation.
The expert also points out that there are misconceptions about anal being unhygienic. “There is an element of shame around the natural things our body does”, she says, adding that the practice should be done safely to minimize the spread of bacteria.
How to break the stigma
The roots of prejudice against sex anal are in shame and homophobia. However, it is important to remember that no consensual sexual activity should be treated as something shameful, and self-reflection and self-awareness are key to destigmatizing harmful attitudes towards anal.
“Self-reflection involves questioning where you got negative ideas about anal sex and considering the social systems, like the patriarchy, that informed these ideas. By thinking about how homophobia and heteronormativity inform negative ideas around anal, you can start to unlearn these attitudes”, advises Samantha.
Self-awareness involves setting boundaries for yourself, keeping space for your desires, as well as respecting and caring for the desires and limits of your partner. It’s about knowing what you like and keeping an open mind, remembering that there is nothing dirty or bad in the practice.
How to engage in anal practice safely and fun
Since the anus is connected to the intestine, it’s important to be careful when inserting any object into it, to prevent the item from getting stuck or “traveling” to another part of the body. “It’s a powerful muscle, and there’s the possibility of sucking something up there. So be aware of that”, points out Samantha. When choosing sex toys to insert — like an anal plug — the educator recommends opting for something short and narrow. “Nothing that doesn’t have a base should go in there”, she adds.
Patience is also needed — and lots of lubricant. Oil-based lubricants can damage latex condoms, making water-based products a safer option. Also consider using internal condoms, which are hypoallergenic.
Communication with your partner and yourself is also essential when exploring anal pleasure. “Pay attention to what your body is doing and what it likes”, advises Samantha. Although there might be pressure, slow down or stop if you feel any pain. The experience should be fun and pleasurable for all. If you’re feeling any discomfort that doesn’t lessen, get in touch with a health professional.
